Friday, February 08, 2008

Head N!&%a In Charge

I'm about to go off topic here. I pass this bodega just about every day, and I can't help but snort to myself because I have an incurable case of gutter brain. There's obviously supposed to be a tilda on that n (like so: ñ), but it's totally impossible to see unless you're standing just beyond the overhang of the awning, and really, who is looking at the name of the shop from that angle? No one. So I'm putting it on blast. This is a Penis food market.

What do you suppose they sell in a Penis food market? I have a few ideas:

  • Hot Dogs/Corndogs
  • Vienna Sausages, Cocktail Weenies, and Chipolata.
  • All Wursts: Brats, Knocks, Knacks, Blargens, Rinds, Bocks - all that scheisse.
  • Breakfast Sausages, Chorizo, and all salchichas.
  • Salami
  • Beef Log
  • Spotted Dick Pudding
  • Nuts
  • Boars Head Deli Meats
  • Slim Jims
  • Squash
  • Cucumbers & Zuchini
  • Bananas
  • Coq Au Vin
  • Head Cheese (and I don't mean smegma, it's a real food. Disgusting, but real)

Now, no market only has food so I could only imagine they might also stock:
  • Condoms, natch.
  • Personal lubricant
  • Cock Rings, Cock Rings, Cock Rings!
  • Daschunds (Wiener dogs)
  • Heather Matarazzo Masks (Dawn Wiener!)
  • Tigi Bed Head
  • Head & Shoulders
  • Full Head Toothbrushes
  • Lemon Head Candies
  • Head Organic Styling Wax
  • Headache relief (I think that's technically called a happy ending - back room business perhaps?)
  • Blue Ball-Point Pens
  • Fleshlight (NSFW)

I think you get the point. Run with it in the comments if you like. I like comments.
Now is time for pictures.
Very impressive Mr. Geoduck!

"Any cock'll dooooooooooooooo!"
(I pulled this guy from my 99 Sense archive. He may pop up again in the future)

Yes homo.

This stock photo will probably haunt this kid for the rest of his life.

Here are some faves I pulled from Flickr:

courtesy of mesh2

courtesy of Amiko

courtesy of Trepelu

courtesy of Jan Wicher

courtesy of minusbaby

If you're still reading and recieve joy from amusing photos like me, here are some related Flickr groups to check out: Rude Food, Accidentally Erotic, Carrot Fun, Phallic Photos, and Vegetables or Fruits With Human-Like Qualities.

While we're on the subject, I also recommend checking out the blog One D At A Time (NSFW). It's not updated much anymore, because it's author Slut Machine writes full time for Jezebel now, but she's got oodles of back entries worth reading. Plus two other loosely related blogs of note: Dudes With Dogs, and CockShadows.

Last and finally, also check out Man and Wife. It's a web show starring Fatman Scoop and his wife Shanda, and they give sex advice all while being humorous, and are all together an inspiring couple displaying how keeping it real goes right. It's moving to the airwaves soon, and will probably be MTV's next big reality hit. Swear. Here's an episode relative to this entry. You know Shanda gets hers.

That's it for today's silly.


Icaia said...

I love your site so so much. I found it through fourfour. It's always so great to check in and see new and funny stuff.
I wanted to comment on the double joy that a geoduck brings once you hear people constantly saying its name: "Gooey-duck", anyone? Gross. And hilarious.
Thanks for the 99 Sense!

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The Barber Shop said...

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