Monday, March 26, 2007

Black Hair Is

In my young lassieness, when I would go up to 125th st I used to see a hair salon called Black Hair Is. My smart aleck ass always had some rediculous "is what?" comment, but I'm not that smart anymore, as you've already discovered reading this blog. I tried to find it in the yellow pages to prove it to you, but it doesn't seem to exist anymore. I guess Black Hair wasn't. When I lived in LA, I used to always pass this salon near my house called Oh! My Nappy Hair, which had an annex called Oh! My Nappy Talent Agency. I wish I could make that shit up. The point of my rambling is that I went into Ralph's Discount City on Chambers St. this weekend, and found myself ackin' like I was doing research for my final paper and updo demonstration at Miss Quantanisha's hair school.

Peep it.

So I used to know this Jamaican dude whose mom sent him up to summer camp with a Tub O' Butter. I know black people love cocoa butter because I am one of them, and I do, but I found it so unbelieveable that until this weekend, I kind of thought I was making it up.

and this is a message in a bottle. from god. that he exists.

Whose stankin ass thought this was a good idea? It's not bad enough that you have excessive hair loss right? They should call this stuff Joke Sauce.
Wanna know why?
Cuz at summer camp one year, I bought a jar of minced garlic at the supermarket and raided someone by putting it in their hair while they slept. Call me hairdresser.

For the Whinny Coopers in your life. Julia Roberts, and Hillary Duff endorsed.

Does the word placenta make anyone else gag? They should call this Deep-Baby-Bagina Shampoo and Conditioner. It would still make me vom, but at least I would laugh first. That sounds messy.

Glowing. Shiny. See the picture on the left?
No joke needed.

Liquid. Vaseline. Bear Oil.
I nearly collapsed.
*Warning* gay dicks. Very NSFW.

I dream that Savon Germicide Idole is her name, and she is a Dominican-Brazilian princess.

The jig is up. Secret is out. Last week on Top Model, Tyra told all the world of the "Black Girl Pat" frequently put to use by those with weaves, updos and careful braids.

Tyra image courtesy of fourfour
Sounds to me like a job for:
when your fingers are just too solid to get up in there.

What up with your homeboys?

all I know is, after perusing the texturizing/relaxing aisle, I considered starting a new blog altogether. Just photos. no words. I couldn't possibly compete with the inherent hilarity.

Just let your soul glo. Let it shine through.

You know who this chick is right? That's Diddy's baby mama Kim Porter. I've always read she was a model, but with her face looking all touched by Omarosa I kind of didn't believe it. But now we all know why she a) stays with Diddy even though he's probably boned Fonzworth up the batty and b) collects child support from 2 celebrities. My mom was a hair model. I know that shit don't pay.

I bet Matthew Knowles pushed Kelly to do this....after her album got pushed back, but before Beyonce got Sports Illustrated. Poor Kelly Rowland got Sub-Solanged. Well, at least her moisture situation replenishes, that will preserve her sexy until her album finally gets released.

If you didn't click on the hairdresser link before, shut your face, don't scroll nowhere, and click this damn video. This chick owns me. I find myself singing this on the toilet first thing when I wake up in the morning. That's way more than you wanted to know about me but it's the damn truth. She's a real tease-a-louise.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Breaking News

My best friend forwarded this to me. How she found it, I have no idea, but she's the effin bomb, and I am often greatful of her random acts of thoughtfulness and the way she finds the perfect things that fit into my life. I guess Dionne Warwick and Friends (not the psychic ones) made a good point when they sang That's What Friends Are For. I'm gonna send that girl a harmonica with braids.

Police-Involved Shooting Reported Outside Dollar Store

POSTED: 10:26 pm EST March 1, 2007
UPDATED: 1:36 am EST March 2, 2007

Philadelphia police reported an officer-involved shooting Thursday night outside a dollar store in the Overbrook section of the city.The shooting occurred at about 9 p.m. after police were called to a strip mall at North 56th Street and Lancaster Avenue, NBC 10's Mike Strug reported from the scene. A 30-year-old man was shot outside a dollar store and transported to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, where he was listed in critical but stable condition.

Officers were called on a report of a disturbance in a maroon sport-utility vehicle in the parking lot that had six people inside -- a man, two women and three children, police said. Everyone got out of the vehicle, except the man, who stayed inside. Police said an officer hurt his hand when he attemped to get the man to come out by breaking one of the vehicle's windows with a first. The man still refused to show his hands or exit and a struggle ensued. Strug reported that, according to one account, the man reached for something in his waitband, prompting one of the officers to discharged a weapon, and the man was shot in abdomen. Police are continuing to investigate the shooting.
How much do you wanna bet that this tussle was over some discount maxi pads?
No money?
Ok. You win.

But forreal 'do, my favorite thing about this article is that as you can see from the original posted date, and the updated date, that someone took some time to change something in the article, yet they still overlooked the misspellery ( i know that's not a word) of the two words I bolded, which should be fist and waistband.

Idiot news jerks.