This native New Yorker raises her hand and proudly announces she likes New Jersey. Not like I want to live there or anything, but it contains most of the things we just don't have room for in NYC, like Midieval Times, Six Flags Great Adventure, and our garbage. Atlantic City is shittily fantastic. It's home to "Down The Shore", which is one of my favorite bits of gramatically incorrect regional vernacular, beating Hawaii's "Shave Ice" by a small sliver. Before the Jamba Juice trickled into Manhattan my best friend used to drive me to a Whole Foods in NJ just so I could fulfill an obsession I picked up on a visit to LA. I don't know if my beloved Redman would be nearly as grimy and deliciously polluted had he not grown up in Dirty Jerz. I got mad peeps from and in New Jeru, and I'm hollering, yo. You rock.
On the recommedation of a NJ resident, my previously mentioned best friend took me on a motorized journey through a tunnel, and across state lines to capture the discount essence of the Armpit Of America. One of the first things we came across was evidence that they are trying to buck the moniker.
Judging straight out my ass, I am going to guess that the notes of this perfume are derived from the essence of olive oil, garlic, Sophia Loren's ancient but timeless vagina, hair gel, and air from an accordion's bellows. Not an improvement.
Forreal tho, we went to this place in Jersey City, and probably had one of the best days of this year so far. I've already covered a few items we found in Fereshte Direct, and this spot was home to that insane Wolfmother's day lamp.
In Korea, the dog.
In my mind, the kid. Just look at the way she's holding that dog. She's totally going to get her little button nose tore the fuck off.
I want somebody to take a stab at what song popped into my head after seeing these two shower cap packages. It's really not that hard. If someone guesses right, I'll give you a prize.
A friend of mine was recently in Guatemala, and the small child of his host family even had a Benign Girl phone.
It would make me endlessly happy if it starred Jaslene, the most recent winner of America's Next Top Model, and Raci, the deaf filipino mtf from TransGeneration. Top it off with Marlee Matlin, and that shit would be the next Deaf Comedy Jam.
When it comes down to it, i think the only reason I only photographed these because they're in a discount store. I see them in pet stores, and have even bought ears for my dog before, and haven't thought twice.
WTF! WTF! WTF is this doing in a people store?
This came home with me. Unbelievable.
Someone has surely and entirely lost an eyelid using one of these. Or a labia.
This post is either getting entirely too long, or I just made myself feel weird. More on this locations finds when I don't feel so creepy inside.