You're not Kanye, and you didn't write your mom a song. I know it. Maybe you made her a lame mixtape that hopefully doesn't start with the line "Hey Mama, this that shit that make you move Mama" unless of course your mom is a stripper, or you happen to be the woman who unleashed that retard Will.I.Am through her hopefully regretful vagina. The question I am getting around to asking is, what did you do for your mom for Mother's Day? Here is my list of things I sensed available, that I wish came with an automatic smack to the face with a bologna log upon purchase.

Cheaper than an issue of Street News, or In Touch.
Treat your mom better than you do the homeless.

They say it's the thought that counts...And that's why she's suicidal.