Like Method Man and Mary J.

To get by. La Da.

They Tell Me, I Tell You

I've gotten about 30,000 e-mails from my friends in the past two days about this article in the New York Times, How to Survive in New York on 99 Cents, and the accompanying 99 cent store meal that Eric Ripert, Executive Chef of Le Bernadin, created.

Good looking out everyone. You know I don't read the New York Times. I also obviously don't need a 5 star chef, and a world renowned journalistic institution to tell me that all the good shit on earth isn't worth all the money they pay for it. Prices are going up. Wah! Now you see what it's like to look at your receipts, and make sure you didn't get robbed at the register, work your way up to $24 in your bank account so you can finally access your money by ATM machine, and pump your fist and cheer for your dusty complextion when you find St. Ives Apricot Scrub for a dollar rather than four.

The next thing you know, they'll be telling us that Soulja Boy (tell 'em) is the next big underground workout guru, inspiring people to get off their asses and crank their way out of obesity. Just so you know I told you first, I supermanned a ho, and it cured my diabeetus. Cranking That Robocop is working my cholesterol levels down like Mary J. Blige in 1994.