Toys For Tots

I checked out Jack's World on 45th between 5th and 6th Ave in Manhattan recently. They are not a 99 cent store, but more of a brand name discount store. I noticed they had a pretty awesome toy section. Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go.

First up, is this unicorn-pegasus jumpsuit costume. I love jumpsuits. I'm sure that If I had a kid, they would also love jumpsuits, and if they didn't I would force them to, and that excites me. So now I'm basically begging someone to knock me up, so I have a reason to buy this jumpsuit, so I can torture my child. That, or I'm looking for Rick Moranis so he can honey I shrunk the me, so that I can fit into the outfit, prance and whinny and sparkle.

This is a 27 piece subway sandwich playset. Preparing children for a lifetime of servitude in minimum wage.

These are just kind of awesome.

On first glance, I thought this box said Club Bitch Day, but I was wrong. Nolee, let's rock!

I found the Hello Kitty discount black hole.
If you know any Hello Kitty freaks in NYC, send em over. Shit is cheap.

dining set, $3.99

bubblegum girlfriends PC game, $6.99

4 piece pez set in a lunchbox! I forgethowmuch.99
(too bad i don't collect pez dispensers anymore)

Marshmallow pops $.99

Magic ink game book (i love these things!) $4.99

No joke but as an adult I always kind of dreamed of having a decorative shelf or two or five with wig heads, and/or Barbie styling heads on it in my living room. The only Barbie I had that I truly liked as a kid was my styling head. Now I can fulfill my dreams, and on the discount tip! I only wish they had the hispanic barbie Teresa, or the black one Christine as well. I'm into Equal opportunity head.

Are realities in a box anything like dick in a box?
Just say yes.

And finally, the finale.
Twitchy, like the anticipation of presenting a dick in a box: Barbie's cousin My Scene Fab Faces.

Now you know what 'Lil Kim will look like when you kidnap her and encase her in your plastic lair.