Go Shorty. It's Ya...

On this very special episode of 99 Sense, a shoutout goes to the birthday boy. My special friend, and the aristocrat of bumboclaat. A dashing and dynamic being. The always debonair, carrier of the distinct air of individuality. A co-conspiritor in nastyness, the one and only Cavalier. Rapper. Artist. Hustler and haver of the illest techniques to save chicks from dying of alcohol poisoning.
The first time I ever met this dude, it was just like the bottle says - fast absorbing. And as far as the rest of the label goes...I'll never tell. ;)

Some Kind Of Wonderful

I just noticed this separated at birth:

and Mary Stuart Masterson! Right?!

Carry on with your lives now.

Your Blue Heaven

To the azuliest woman I know and her lovely lady love, this post is for you. You see how it all comes together? I think you should create a dance move called the Fruit Rolls. Make it your signature, and tell it Kangsta sent you.

Wig Crypt Chick

Doesn't this chick straight up look like Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta? Somebody ought to ring that heifer up and tell her that her cancer/not cancer and it's less than yaki weave accessory has been ressurected from the depths of her imaginary biopsy and is coming to get her like she's starring in a japanese horror movie.

Yay Girl Yay!

No tuck is everlasting. RuPaul is letting it all hang out. I've been a big fan of RuPaul for quite some time. I think his drag steez is so on point, and not over the top like a lot of the ugly overdone characters I've seen put on. I watched his show on VH1 (I miss you too Michelle Visage) and If I had cable right now I'd have his Drag Race show on DVR, never to be deleted. This post goes out to my boy James, my college-era RuPartner in crime, I love you deep, honey in my closet. You betta work!

Me

Damn right, I can. Buhlee dat.

Like Method Man and Mary J.

To get by. La Da.

Kotext Message

The sole reason for this post is to show you this Kotex TV ad from down under, pun intended.

No Love

Oh, sad sacks! I spotted this photo of Jennifer Love Hewitt on a cheap box of perfume. Although for some inexplicable reason The Ghost Whisperer is a successful show and she can't possibly be that bad off, in the past year we've all seen her Party of Five for a backside, and she broke up with her Feyoncé Knowles. So, I thought it was kind of funny that this article on The Insider referred to her as being bummed.

Anne Hathaway Ain't Shit

A few days ago, I read about this band The Vassarettes that was put together for the purpose of promoting this brand of women's lingerie. They are contractually obligated to perform in their underwear. I also happen to have a group of rockin female friends who all went to Vassar College, so I immediately had to send them a link to what I'd read. I haven't seen a few of these lovely ladies in a minute, so I have written this poem, and am dedicating this post to them.

I want to see you (In your underwear) ⓒ Kangsta 2009

drop
your pants
lets dance.

meet you guys at The Mug at midnight next Founders Day, ok? I'll supply the boyshorts.

Dropping The Balls

Yenifel and Nanky, the couple down the road with the mean goat are the proud parents of a beautiful little girl, Usnavi. In the Dominican Republic, there is a high incidence of this biological syndrome that they locally call Guevedoces. That translates to "eggs at 12." "Eggs" are slang for testicles, and the age of 12 is typically when puberty begins. Do you see where I am going with this? See, little Usnavi in her pretty dresses, and frilly socks one day started to feel strange. Something started growing from her lower abdomen. Surprise. Dick surprise. Dude looked like a lady. What I'm trying to tell you is, although the Dominican Republic may have the hottest girls, If I were you, I wouldn't stake any early claims to betroth a Dominican girl. I'd wait to find out whether or not she turns out to be a man or a woman.

Something Special, Girl...

It's no bitch in a box.

Girls Girls Girls

March is women's history month, so this blog is about to get super femmed out. This one goes out to Foxy Brown, Planned Parenthood, sick grannies, prescriptions of valtrex, and those of you ladies who keep it tight, aiight.

Perfection

Spotted on Brooklyn's New Lots Ave. I bet this place was the bomb.